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It Could Be Worth A Fortune!

Sep 03, 2014 02:22PM ● By Elena Hutslar

It Could Be Worth A Fortune!

By Julie Ross


The customary fortune cookies arrived on a little plate along with my bill for lunch at a local Chinese restaurant the other day. It might not be entirely rational, but I admit to having certain expectations of those little slips of paper tucked into their crispy shells.


I want the fortune in my cookie to be significant to my life in some way – none of that generic “You will have good luck soon.” The message should also be enough of an enigma to inspire at least a brief moment of reflection and interpretation. A touch of humor helps as well.


Below are three fortunes I believe meet this set of criteria. (A “translation” follows each in italics for those of you not trained in interpreting fortune cookie messages.)


“A closed mouth gathers no feet.”

Think before you speak. Try not to blurt out the first thing that pops into your mind.


“He who throws dirt is losing ground.”

Spreading gossip will not advance your position.


“When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside.”

Have realistic expectations.


I would now like to propose a challenge. We have not had a contest in this column for a while, so here it is:


Think about a favorite friend or family member. Make up a fortune you would like that person to receive.


Conversely, think of someone who really gets on your nerves and write down a fortune you would enjoy seeing them crack open. Do some of each if you would like.


Email your entries to me by midnight on October 1, 2014. The most clever and/or heartfelt fortunes will be published in the November issue of this newspaper. Each fortune may be no longer than 15 words.


A winner will be selected from among the entrants to receive a $50 gift certificate to an area establishment serving fortune cookies. (I am the sole judge and the judge’s decision is final.)


Please don’t procrastinate! Here’s a message from Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu to get you started now: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”


I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Please send fortunes to me at [email protected] by midnight October 1, 2014.