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I Got This! By Russell Carroll

Jun 27, 2016 10:27AM ● Published by Elena Hutslar

It’s been a monumental week for me. That is, if you consider all your “senior moments” to be monumental. I recently celebrated the 37th anniversary of my 21st birthday. Which means, A) I’m old, and B) My mind says I’m 25, but my body says, “Nope, you’re old, dude.”

I recently spent the morning searching for my glasses. I knew I had them on when I got home because I woke up in the right house. First clue: check!  Let’s move on. I scrambled through the bed sheets. I looked under the bed. I investigated every inch of the house. No go. Accepting that I had lost them, I turned to the bathroom mirror to see what I would look like going to work with no glasses. Boom! There they are, right on top of my head.  I check my back, like a soldier on recon, to see if any roommates had witnessed this comical yet futile search. No one around. I evaded that embarrassing interaction.

But wait, it gets better (or worse, depending on your perspective). I shower (no glasses), shave, and prepare to seize the day at my night job when I can’t find my keys. First place I look is on my head. Strike one. So, fully dressed for work and challenging the clock for an on-time arrival, I look everywhere. When I finally rub my head with desperation, I find my keys. Looped around my finger. Ok, big breath. I have glasses and keys. Ready to go.

One of the things I like most about my night job is that we get to dress casual. Shorts, t-shirts, and tennis shoes are all good. So, I head off on my bad motor scooter (which is a bike and certainly has no motor), and arrive at work right on time. I strut my way through the store like the stud that I am so that I can don my “Bevmologist” apron. Of course, being an over achiever in my $10 hourly executive position, I stop to talk with a few customers along the way to the team locker room. While chatting with one regular customer, she looks down at my feet and casually states, “Nice shoes.” I look down and can only find two words: “Oh, my.” You see, I’m wearing my house slippers! That’s right: first, lost glasses, then, lost keys, and to complete the hat trick, I’m sporting my fluffy slip- ons. It’s my habit to dress for work and then stay in my slippers while I relax for a few more minutes before heading out of the house for whatever mission lies in front of me. I knew it would happen one day, and I can now scratch that off of my “Things I’m Scared I Might Do” list.

You see, it doesn’t matter how old you are or the stupid positions you put yourself in; it only matters how you handle them. So, I say we screw all of these things up: lose your glasses on your head, lose your keys in your hand, go to work in slippers, hell…go ahead and wear your gym shorts backwards. But I caution you on the latter; as my experience shows, it is very hard to use your pockets with your pants on backwards. After all, it’s not what you look like, it’s how you feel. But….that’s just how I see it. 
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